365 days

a year ago today, i was beginning my adventure to the south. i was sitting driver seat of a large uhaul, completely unsure of what i was getting myself into. i survived the move, survived the life transition, survived the new beginning. but, not without a lot of support and even more tears.

the first month i lived here i was dirt poor. the combination of an expensive move and not starting work for a month left me without cable, internet, or substantial food. i watched all seasons of sex and the city from beginning to end [three times, once with executive producer commentary], ate couscous and frozen vegetables, and called my mom at least twice a night. it was twenty three days later that i didn't shed a tear within a twenty four hour period. i vowed to never look back on that time in my life and miss it. well, my friends, i was wrong. last night, in a tribute to how far i've come, i put sex and the city in the dvd player, made a nice plate of cheap food, and reflected on the last year. much to my surprise, i felt disappointed. i missed being so innocent, so impressionable, so ready to take on this new world. my heart felt hardened in a way, like its youthful naivety was gone. like time was getting away from me. how can we be more present with the current moment rather than wishing our lives away on the future?

so here's a toast to you carrie, miranda, charlotte and samantha for the laughter... my incredible friends for sending a digital antenna so that i could at least access the basic channels... my unbelievable family for listening, sending some cash for real food, making me the luckiest girl on this planet... dr. j for bringing me back down to earth after i-won't-pass-my-boards-freak-outs, making me laugh hysterically, encouraging me to catch my dreams... i do not know how i would have survived this without you. 365 days later i am wiser, stronger, more focused, more in-tune with who i am. where will the next year take us?

may we learn the most about ourselves in those painful moments of change, take those moments to appreciate the here and now, and reflect on those moments to grow into the person we are meant to be. happy weekend y'all!